I Hate Kids

It's not an unknown fact by now that I hate kids. Or more specifically, I hate other people's kids. They are noisy, abnoxious, annoying, attention whelps and are a pest in general. Like today for instance, they overran the gym. Because of that, I couldn't go there and exercise, because they literally overran the gym, those little monkeys. I hope they get hurt and never come back.

Obviously this family only stays over for the holidays. Another reason to hate school. They shouldn't keep those kids away from school for too long.

I've decided to back off for now and come back in an hour, when I am less traumatized and less cordially-inclined :P. I am not going to give up my precious day of working out due to some kids. The lot of them should just jump into the pool, seriously (and possibly drown).

I hate kids. It had nothing to do with my mom suddenly deciding to have another child 8 years ago. I already disliked them even then. But since I have an 8 year old sister anyway, I am not sorry for the fact that I bully her a lot simply because she is a kid. And being the youngest she will have to put up with it until I deem her no longer an annoying kid. Don't feel too sorry for her :P. She gets anything she wants. Except my attention.

I hate other people's kids and their parents. If you couldn't control or look after your little pests then why bother having them in the first place? There's a thing called a birth control pill in case you haven't heard of it.

To summarize: I. Hate. Kids.

Iroiro na Mono 2

Hello. I'm quite sick of this background for my blog. My new year's resolution will be to change it.

I didn't realize that my last post was the one I made the night before JLPT. I was so traumatized post-JLPT that all I wanted was a cup of tea and some high-calorie cookies. I took N4 in the morning and N3 in the afternoon. The wait was so...hot. And I was wearing jeans. Uuugh. N4 was easy enough. But N3 slapped me left, right, upwards, downwards and diagonal.

After N4 my friend and I decided we will just take N3 for the experience. It wasn't that hard. I was just lazy to memorize all the kanji. As well as ill-prepared for the ridiculous time allocation. But N3 was a nightmare for more than just the content of the paper itself. Firstly it was set during the hot afternoon sun. Secondly, it was freaking postponed by 30 minutes because we had to wait for candidates who haven't arrived due to traffic! And despite that, our classroom had at least one empty desk at every row. Thirdly, we had to fill in an annoying questionnaire egged on by a predictably boring 'omiyage from Japan'. Fourthly, because of the annoying questionnaire, we left quite late. I walked out of my desk at exactly 7pm. The school didn't deem it necessary to turn on the lights, and although there was still a little bit of sun, all shaded areas of the school (stairs) might as well be nighttime.

So I walked down the 9 storeys stairs because it was too dark to be waiting for the lift on my own.

But things went up from there. Petaling Street was disgusting. There was pork and people spitting everywhere, yet I had to check out their game store. 5 ringgit PS2 games are still sold there after all. When I was done, I went to the head of the Street and contemplated my transportation home. Ideally wanted to drive, but being unfamiliar with the area, I decided to take a cab that morning. There were only two ways; bus and cab. Cabs are smelly but busses are infrequent. Walking would take close to an hour, and I was in need of a bathroom.

So I went to the Kotaraya side and stood by the roadside, contemplating. Then suddenly, a couple of haggard-looking tourists came up to me. There were two girls. One short, one Tall.

Short Girl: Excuse me, do you speak English?

Me: Oui. (Just kidding) Yes, I do?

SG: Do you know where is the monorail station around here?

Me: Ah, unfortunately there is no monorail station in the area. There are only the LRT stations...somewhere nearby. I've never actually been there.

SG: I see. *looks around desperately*

Me: May I know where you're going?

SG: We're going to Bukit Bintang. The Pavilion, you know.

Me: Oh. Well, from here there are only two ways to get to Bukit Bintang. Taxi or bus. Or walking. But that would be very tiring.

SG: *said something about how hard it is to get taxis* well, anyway, thanks for your help. *remains standing around*

Me: It's no problem. *contemplates, contemplates* You know I'm also going to Bukit Bintang. You wanna share a cab?

SG to Tall Girl: Hey you wanna share a cab to Bukit Bintang?

TG: Really? You would? Sure, sure!

Me: No problem. It's easier for me to get a cab since I'm local hehehe. Now stand back.

So we ended up sharing a cab. The two girls were Australians who are not quite tourists. They were on some internship program arranged by their college. Their actual internship was only for 1 week, but their college put them up for 3 weeks at the Renaissance Hotel. Prior to meeting me that night they got lost while walking on the highway. Thus, their haggard appearance. We chatted a lot in the cab and in addition to covering the fare (only 4.60 hehehe I'm good) They gave me a banana!

Funny how I didn't even ask for their names. But they were totally fun. I like such encounters. No attachments, just pure fun. Like one-night stands hehehehe. We parted ways at Pavilion which turned out to be a boon for our taxi too because he came to a long queue of tourists when he dropped us off. The moment we said goodbye I dashed off to the toilet.

I like American and Australian tourists in general. They are very friendly, and readily admit their own ignorance or shortcomings in a foreign country. And are willing to accept help. Unlike those European tourists.

Well then. I'll stop here before this post gets too long. Ta'ra!
p/s Klops: Yyes it's kinda nice getting back to exercising. I'm not going to lose to funny looking guy who thinks he's such an expert now even though he ran only ONE half marathon! and thanks for the suggestion!

Long Holiday That Should Not Be

I am still reeling back from having tea squirt out of my nose when I choked while watching 'Sonny with a Chance'. It's incredible, really, since I already watched that episode. The one where Chad Dylan Cooper was making a movie about himself but did not want to cast Sonny as herself in his movie. Instead he invited Selena Gomez to play Sonny. The ending where Chad said "So you think I have sparkly eyes?" was what got me. Man. My nose tastes sweet. Also, the Camp Hip Hop parody and the 'Jonas Brothers' at the end was hilarious.

Anyway, I noticed that I need to type in shorter sentences. Thus, shorter paragraphs. It makes my point clearer. And gives more impact. And I need to stop starting sentences with 'and'.

I asked for the week off from work due to JLPT this Sunday. I kept forgetting that I was taking two levels which meant I had to be there at both the morning and afternoon sessions. Sighs. I am not even sure of the exact location. At least everyone knows where UPM is. Far thought it may be. I supposed it's better for it to be in KL itself. Closer to home. And no, I have totally not been studying. I just had a test last Tuesday. Studying is the last thing on my mind. Though I supposed I should endure some anime tonight to redeem myself. It's good practice for the listening test.

Physically, I have been exercising for a full two months. I started early October, seemingly out of the blue, but really, there were several contributing factors. As I'm sure you people are interested to know.

REASONS WHY I STARTED EXERCISING AGAIN:

1. I picked up reading SHAPE magazine again. And that is always a motivator to start working out. No arguing there.
2. A colleague I label 'funny-looking guy' (F-LG) went on the Penang Bridge Marathon and I'm jealous. Therefore I decided I should join a marathon next year. F-LG made a comment where it's just so easy to just change into your running clothes and run at the KLCC park after work. Well excuse you for your ignorance. You don't have to wear a sport's bra. And of course, I told him that to his face. Hmph.
3. Since I made the decision to join a marathon next year, okay, more like a 10km run, since all marathons usually have a 10km event. I asked sensei to join me. He said yes and asked when. I said every month next year so he should start preparing. Since you know, there's always an event every month. And he lives in the neighbourhood so it's easy to meet up. So now that I have a marathon buddy, I have to train for a marathon, which includes losing weight. You can't train for a marathon and not lose weight, really.
4. Because people have been mistaking me for colleagues who wore at least two uniform sizes bigger than me! And they laughed as they said it, as if it was funny. Well of course they found it funny. Funny how I don't. I'll say more about this later.
5. Because it's cool. The scale hadn't budget much, since I got a new electronic scale that weights to the grams, I wouldn't call it a change until I could keep off 1 kg for two weeks straight. I am not expecting anything until the end of this month.
6. Because I just want to lose weight! And not complain that my uniform is getting too tight. It's not.

Going back to point 4, yes, it was insulting when people mistook me for someone who was fatter than me because I know I'm not the skinny type. Even when I lost 10kg, I was still curvy because I was made that way. What differentiated me from those people is that I'm taller than them. So even though I'm not as broad as they were, when I sat down I looked broader. I want to say that I'm not complaining, and I do like the way I'm built, but if I was happy with my weight I wouldn't be trying to lose them would I? Also, it must be said that it's very offensive and insulting and it hurts my feelings when people, even in good spirit, commented how "cuter" you look after they haven't seen you in a while. DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO MAKE COMMENTS ON HOW FAT PEOPLE LOOK EVERY YEAR YOU SEE THEM!?!?

If you have been at the receiving end of this comment before, you know how it feels. You try to just brush it aside and focus on how happy you are to see your friends/relatives and not concentrate on how fat they think you are. Now that you know, from now on, stop making such comments to other people. I don't. I used to do that just to annoy that person, but it's such a habit to these people now that they just do it without thinking. Now start thinking. Don't do it. Find something else to comment about! Their hair, their clothes, anything!

On the subject of fitness, everyone has an opinion. Even people who have only been jogging for half a day fancy themselves fitness expert. For example, some time ago, there was a jogging phase at work. I saw a few cashier staff changed into their jogging gear and went jogging at the KLCC park. After a few days I asked what's up and they explained just that. So I asked them where do they put their bags when they jog. One girl said they put them in a colleague's car before they set off. So I nodded my head and said 'I see'. After all, when going jogging you want to be as light as possible, right? and then this bimbo just had to say something so stupid as:

'or we just bring them along sometimes'.

I was flabbergasted. "But they're heavy!"

"Itu bagus lagi lah!" (that's even better you know!)

I stared at her, bug eyed, as I received a lecture on the benefits of carrying a one-shoulder bag on your run. Of course, I didn't even get to bring up the point where you will only strain your shoulder and ruin your lower back due to the uneven weight, because they left soon after, bags and all. Like I said, experts. The jogging fever lasted for only two weeks. :P

And they were still fat.

I'm not calling myself an expert, but I have enough experience and enough knowledge to know what is safe to do, at least for my body type, weight, and sex. And if you know as much (or as little) as I do, you'll know that you have to be a certified expert to be imparting fitness knowledge on other people. So if you have enough sense in your head, you wouldn't be imparting fitness knowledge on other people. You can advise them on what is generally safe, but for anything further, you must refer them to the experts.

Now, if you really want to know the basics, as a female, here are a few things I vouch for:

1. Never run alone at a secluded or non-populated area. It's dangerous.
2. If you do have to run alone, do not use ipods or anything similar. When alone you need to keep your ears peeled for possible perverts or attackers.
3. Wear light clothing. Bags, unless they are small hip pouches to keep your essentials ie car keys, cellphones, etc, are not necessary. You may think you are losing extra weight by carrying those weight, but you're doing it at the expense of ruining your muscles and doing permanent damage to your back. Some people run with leg weights or arm weights. Do not do so if you're an amatuer. Women have more tender muscles than men. The weight could tear your muscles easily.
4. Wear suitable shoes. If you've been running for a month, and enjoys it, then go buy yourself a good pair of running shoes. The shoes must be labeled 'running' shoes. Cross-training shoes are ok too, but never substitude them for those plasticky-soled shoes meant for mall hopping rather than sports.
5. Wear socks. No argument.
6. SPORTS' BRA! Unless you're an A cup, then forget it.
7. Let someone know where you're going for your run and what time to expect you back. So important when running outdoors.
8. Stay hydrated. Drink before, during and after your run/jog. And it must be water. Not sports drink, carbonated drinks or lemonade. Drinking water does not cause that tightness at the side. Nobody knows what causes it, so drink up.
9. STAY SAFE. And enjoy.

I've met my share of perverts outside that's why I prefer doing my exercises indoors.

My Kujong has finally kicked the bucket and swallowed my FF12 DVD. He will be retired. Although I'm planning to get a ps3, I am still getting another PS2. A small silver PS2. I've always wanted one hehehe. Right, now time to endure some anime. Uuugh. I don't know just what sort of anime interests me anymore these days.

Wish me luck! Ta'ra!

They are out, out, OUT!!

Who? Jess and Lani of course! It was childish, but I actually pumped my fist undignifiedly when Allan Wu announced their elimination. Of course, I'm talking about the Amazing Race Asia 4. I've been a sucker for the Amazing Race Asia Season 4. It was because one of the Malaysian teams are Sarawakians, and we support our home team hehehe.

There are 10 teams participating in the race, and ALL of them, EXCEPT the Malaysian teams, had a member who are some sort of local celebrities in their home countries. I'm serious. You can check the wikipedia page. But despite the lack of celebrity presence in the Malaysian team, which suits me fine, they had performed remarkably well. If there had been a 'Miss Congeniality' award, either of the Malaysian teams would win it.

Now, let's break down to my favorite moments. These are the two Malaysian teams:

Ivan and Hilda, married. The Sarawakian team.And Ethan and Khairie, friends.

I started out rooting for Ivan and Hilda just because, but they were eliminated at the end of leg 6, which broke my heart a little, but then the other Malaysian team are still in it. I loved that episode in New Zealand when Ethan became the sheep whisperer. I laughed so hard. xD These two can be so funny together. They were eventually eliminated in leg 8, ending at 5th position. But because Ethan and Khairie are good friends with the Singaporean team, I started supporting them too. Michelle and Claire are now in the top 3, so you know who I'm rooting for!

Despite their elimination, I must say that I'm quite proud of their performance, both to each other and with the other teams. You don't see them backstabbing or using dirty tactics to finish a task. They were only focused on themselves. And they are nice to the other teams when they crossed paths, even though they knew they were being last and the team passing them by is going to beat them to the finish line, they still managed to wish them luck. Sincerely. Which is a hard thing to do in their situation.

Needless to say, the Malaysian teams went down fighting, with their honour intact. I'm proud of you guys!! (The temple challenge in Korea clearly showed that both the Malaysian teams were put down as teams with 'most likely to team up with' and 'enviable relationship' by the other teams).

The Philipine teams are being represented by fake Filipinos. They have been proven to be good racers, and the Richards turned out not to be spoiled brats after all (as opposed to the Indian teams, surprisingly). But despite representing the Philipines, all four of the participants don't even live in the Philipines. The Richards are of Filipinos ethinicity to a certain degree, but were both raised in the United States, while Jess and Lani are Australians with Lani having some Filipino ethinicity. Team Philipines spoke with either an American accent or an Aussie accent. I bet the Filipinos are proud of them. I think the first thing I disliked about Jess & Lani is Lani's accent. I didn't know she was Aussie. But if she was, then what is she doing in the Amazing Race Asia?? They were proud, and they had mentioned very early on they were willing to do anything to win the race; lie, seduce, flirt, take advantage, ANYTHING. And they did. And they claimed to not know why the other teams didn't like them eventhough they have explicitly mentioned that they are friendly to everyone, but never went out to make friends. Still, I had no problem with that. But it was probably their little snide comments about the other teams throughout the race that annoyed me the most. They were already ahead, winning 1st for three legs. Do they really had to put down the other teams behind their backs so much? When they finished fourth in the race for top 3, I was aesthetic. They totally did not deserve to be in the final.

The Indian Teams! Where do I start? There are two Indian teams, the Indian Boys and the Indian Girls teams. All four of them have appeared on the local television there, which explains their good looks and spoiled personalities. You would have thought people from third world (developing) countries to be a little humble and hardworking, but obviously not these people! Sahil & Manas are hands down spoiled city boys. I agree with the father-daughter Indonesian team there. the girls are more hardworking though, but their cocky attitude made them hard to get along with by the non-Malaysian teams (because they dont have drama). Their rivalry with the Singapore team made me dislike them even more because I like the Singaporean team. overall, I think the Indian team were very un-Indian-like. They were so eager to prove they are not the typical Indian from the poverty-stricken country that they were practically acting like, uugh, God save us, Americans. Indians acting like Americans. Enough said.

The Indonesian teams. Such a contrast. The first father-daughter team. And a beauty queen and TV presenter. The former, a real underdog from the beginning, came out first to be in the top 3 in th leg before the finale. And the latter, was the first team to be eliminated. The father-daughter team is quite cute. They made it first in Korea because the father negotiated with taxi drivers to show them the road around. As opposed to Jess & Lani who refused to pay the expensive taxi cabs and got amazingly lost. It turned out to be a great factor to their win, and elimination hehehe.

I look forward to the finale. I'm supporting team Singapore now. How about you? xD

Ta'ra!

p/s I GOT AN A!!! AFTER 4 LEVELS I FINALLY GOT AN A!!!!! Ok that's it.

Feet Tea

It's not that I have smelly feet. It always depends on the type of footwear. And socks. It's a given that your feet would stink after a long day of work. The locker room would stink so bad you could literally taste it on your tongue. A certain bitterness. I am not against changing footwear after work, but some of these people leave their stinky socks in their lockers together with their smelly shoes, leaving a very pleasant frangrance!

My lockermates did that before; leaving their shoes and socks in the locker without so much as putting it in a shoebox. It made my apron smelled of their shoes eew! Don't they have common sense!? So, rather than complaining to them, I took the matters into my own hand; I prepared a shoe box in the locker for their use! At least, when they left, the shoe box would remain there for future idiots to take notice of!

And no, I wear my shoes straight from home, so the only thing I left in my locker is my apron and nametag. And a bottle of lotion I hardly use.

But when I get home, my feet are tired, battered and smelled of mouldy socks. I remember seeing my homie back in uni soaking her feet in saltwater. I thought, 'oh how nice'. The first time I tried it, I just wanted to soak my feet in something herby and nice. I remembered this episode on Oprah where the girl was told to soak her feet in tea to cure her smelly feet problem. Normally when they bother me, I just go and take a shower and scrub my feet. The smell can be persistent even after thorough washing and they won't completely disappear until the next morning.

Determined to relax my battered feet, I foraged around the kitchen and found some old tea bags. I doubt their taste is suitable for consumption now which made them great for foot soaking. I popped two teabags in a bucket and poured hot water. I let them seep for a while and then added tap water to the right temparature. Then I settled into my chair and soaked my feet. Ah~ bliss.

My feet emerged like prunes, but man did they not smell - of anything! Not even of earl grey! I do this about once a week or when I feel like it. It's a lot of work, you know. Carrying the bucket around. But then I found this article about the benefits of soaking feet in tea. Apparently if you soak your feet in tea for 30 minutes everyday for a week, you can keep smelly feet at bay for weeks to come. And from then on just do it once or twice a week to keep the symptoms at bay. The tannin in tea shrinks the sweat glands in your feet, causing your feet to sweat less, giving bacterias less surfaces to breed and cause smelly feet.

Like I said, I don't naturally have smelly feet. But I might just try it because it's so nice and relaxing hehehe!

Try it! You'll love it! Ta'ra!

Random Crap V

Since this is Random Crap V, yes it means there have been Random Crap I-IV proceeding it.

So, staying true to the title, let's start with work. After the initial outburst of work-related posts almost exactly one year ago, it became obvious to me quite quickly that I did not like to blog about work. Simply because work should stay where it is; at work. As you know, my work involves carrying a lot of books around. I do my best to transfer the weight to my thighs and butt, trying to spare my back as much as possible, but you get tired and you get lazy.

If you are worried about my back, thank you. But I assure you, they do not get as much abuse as my butt. I squat and lift from it a lot. From the rate I'm going, I'm surprised that it hasn't grown muscles down there yet!!

What irritate me so much is how, 7 times out of 10, each time I have a huge and heavy (huge does not necessary mean heavy, of course. Books with lots of pictures are heavier than text-only books) load in my arms, I will get customer inquiries looking for the most impossible book! SERIOUSLY! CAN'T YOU SEE THE HEAVY LOAD I'M CARRYING GLARING AT YOU!?

I went to bed at night and I couldn't sleep thinking at how irritated it made me. RAAWR!!

...

They speak so fast. Those Japanese. And I returned Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei because of the annoying faces. Go watch it yourself. It Irritated me just thinking about it. I thought the files were tampered with, because obviously 70% of the animes sold there are downloaded materials and so not original. So I returned it, and although having convinced by the guy that the anime was not tampered with, I insisted on changing it. I bought Black Butler instead. I always thought I'd end up watching it one day. Might as well be now. And I downloaded K-ON Season 2. After I did some porn transferring of course hehehehe.

Speaking of Japanese people, we finally met up with Ooshiro Sensei and her baby!

I have better pictures in my camera but so mafan to upload. Wakana-chan was also very excited to meet us hehehehe.

Earlier the same week we celecbrated Andou Sensei's xxth birthday.
He's always ready to humor us (also because I already confirmed with him that he's free after class that day so there's no getting out of it!).

And also, Kinokuniya's Annual Dinner! My Assistant Unit Chief is in the picture.

I'm sure you can pick him out hehehe.

A lot of things happened after I came back from Sabah it seems. Now if only I could get some homework done. Sighs.

Ta'ra!

I Went To Sabah. And Stuff.

I went to Sabah last weekend for my dad's old friend's daughter's wedding. This is my second visit to Sabah. I enjoyed my first time there immensely and I enjoyed this trip too.

My last dinner at home before I left for KK. That day was awesome. I stayed at home, cooked a total of three times and sat at home watching TV and eating. All day. Awesome. It was at the spur of the moment too. I suddenly decided that I wanted to eat meatballs. So I went down to Carrefour and bought some minced meat and spaghetti. Then I used all the leftover ingredients from my open house and made some awesome meatballs and put them in the spaghetti sauce. And TA-DA! Spaghetti meatballs!

The verdict? It's as good as it looks.

Anyway. I have been watching (listening) to anime these days (forefully). My interest in it has dissipated long ago and nowadays if not becasue of the prospect of failing JLPT, I wouldn't be putting myself through such torture. I selected anime of the right cast of characters, setting and timeline. To ensure I don't suddenly stun my sensei with vocabularies that would have made his grandfather proud. Since I don't like dramas, so I've chosen these two animes;

K-ON.

I could only take two episodes per day. I turned off the subtitles and let the words run wild. With subs I'll just end up reading. I've finally finished all 12 episodes. Only 2 OVAS left! Yay me! This is not an anime review blog so I shall not review it. I'll just say their Sawa-chan-sensei is my favorite character hehehe.

And Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

The guy at the store said that it's kinda old now, comparatively. But Ive been eyeing the manga at work you see, but I'm too lazy to read them (or have enough resources to start collecting. It's up to vol 7 now). And besides, I previewed the first ep on youtube. And aside from the slow start, I like the voice actor for the sensei hehehe. The art is fresh too hehe. The store only had a compilation of seasons 1-3 plus OVAS. So I have no choice but to swallow all 38 episodes eventually. I hope the story is interesting enough to keep me going.

When choosing these two animes, I chose those that I think are interesting enough to follow yet I don't really care enough for the storyline to want to know every single thing that was happening since I'll be watching them with subs off. With K-ON I only turned on the subs a few times on only 3 episodes. Just to the part that I was curious about. But so far I'm amazed at how easily I understand them and how much I understood if I just listened carefully. Thus, headphones are imperative.

Okay time to shower! Ta'ra!

Am I Invisible?

For two nights in a row, I was almost cut in the queue by bloody rude foreigners! Here's how!

Last night, after coming back from work, I stopped by McD Bukit Bintang for the triple cheese burger. As usual, it was crowded with tourists. After living here for four years, you become weary of their "rudeness". No, it's no longer a cultural thing. They were being rude. Don't let them make you think otherwise. If it's a dirty look you're given, it is a dirty look. End of story.

Anyway.

I was queuing. Like anyone should. Normally the queues at McDs go quite fast because the person who takes your orders and the one who fulfills it are two different people. So basically there are two queues at each counter; order making and order taking. You go to order making first, and then order taking. So there I was, queueing. Suddenly, this big guy found himself in the order taking queue and was surprised that he didn't get served. After a while he realized he was in the wrong queue and started standing next to the guy in front of me! So I glared.

And glared and glared. He didn't take the hint.

Since I was fourth in line, I was quite curious to see if
1) he will seriously jump queue in front of me
2) knowing that, will the staff serve him first, and
3) If I was patient enough to wait until I humiliate him.

I was third in line.

Pissed, mainly because I'm hungry, tired and am generally pissed at being treated like crap by foreigners at work, I approached him. Remember, he was standing too closely to the guy in front of me.
Me: Excuse me, are you with them? *points to an Arab looking couple in front of the guy in front of me*
Guy: No.
Me: Then you're cutting queue.
Guy: *looked down at me and talking as if yes, I acknowledge you, but I see no problem in standing here anyway* You are after him, right? *indicating the guy in front of me*
Me: Yes, and the back of the line to you.

My words were sharp and clear and he obliged, BY STANDING BEHIND ME! Seriously, which country is this guy from!? THERE ARE PEOPLE BEHIND ME! HE SHOULD BE BEHIND THE PEOPLE BEHIND ME! RAWR! He must have thought he's behind me so he should be after me, but he joined the queue wrongly so he should rightly be at the END OF THE LINE! But despite him being inappropriately close to me after that, I got my rightful place. It's up to the people behind me whether they wanted to put up with him.

I thought that was the end of it. Tonight I went to KFC. KFC has a terrible waiting time because they use the same staff to take and fulfill orders. But I was quite full and I just wanted a snack so I didnt mind the wait. KFC has one of the stupidest system despite this being one of the busiest outlets. But I am used to the stupidity and I was not hungry. And I had a drink to keep me occupied.

KFC had four counters and only two counters, the two at the ends that are open. The two in the middle are perpetually closed. Like I said, stupidity. So there I was, in the queue.I started off being fifth in line. The people at the head of both queues happened to be same group, so while they occupied both counters, once the one in my queue had finished taking his orders, his friend on the other queue canceled, which prompted a cursing frenzy from the tired staffs. I totally understand. And yes, they were foreigners of caucasian looking people who do not speak good english.

Suddenly, a group of men, all with broad built and short cropped hair entered. at first a few of them stood at the closed counter looking up at the menu. After a while of asking for service, they were told (rather unpolitely) by the staff that the counter is closed. Dismayed, they started standing BESIDE THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME, AGAIN! RAWR! I was second in line damn you!

Again, since this guy was the same height as me, I glared at him. If my eyes could shoot lasers he would have had two holes in place of eyes that time. The people in front of me were locals; father and son. the foreigner was bretahing down their necks and they were getting uncomfortable. It's obvious they wanted to cut queue and it was me, AGAIN! SERIOUSLY, AM I INVISIBLE!?

You don't think I'm going to stay quiet did you? Of course not!

Me: Excuse me sir, there is a queue.
Guy: Well there was this thing with the counter.
Me: RIGHT! (I DONT CARE). *GLARE*

He slunk away to the back.

You think a small (comparatively) local girl like me would be intimidated by your foreigner superiority complex?? YOU WISH! If you think that Malaysians are just like some third-world country people bent on extorting money from rich foreigners, then you are wrong. Those are just the taxi drivers. There are plenty of well-educated proud Sarawakians along the streets of KL and we are not to be bullied and intimidated. You, sirs, have picked on the wrong Malaysian.

If I hadn't stood up for myself and let these bastards cut me in queue I would cause a scene somewhere along the lines of:

This guy jumped the line! I was here first! What? YOU HAVEN'T EATEN IN TEN YEARS IS IT!?

I would like to see how they would have reacted to that.

I do admit that Malaysians in general has a too laid back attitude when it comes to foreigners being rude to them. They don't want trouble, they say. Well bullshit! I've had enough of being bullied by the likes of you people who look down on us! If our country is not good enough for you, then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE ANYWAY!? GO BACK TO WHICHEVER HELLHOLE YOU CAME FROM! RAWR!

Being corteous is too hard? Indeed it is.

Ta'ra

Kanji Will Be The End of Me!

It's done. I registered. I paid. I'll be taking N3 and N4 both this end of the year. After I found out on the website that N3 and N4 are going to be in separate times, I pounced! I mean, I just have to register anyway, as long as I didn't pay it's not official. But I paid. I knew it was RM80 each, but in case I saw it wrongly and it's RM120 instead, I only asked for RM120. But I ended up paying RM160. Uugh.

Not surprisingly I am not the only one who registered for the N3 class but is taking N4 as a safety net. On last count my JLPT preparatory class had 8 people. I missed the last two classes on purpose (sleeping) mostly because I felt that the sensei wasn't really teaching us anything new. Outside students might find it useful, but for someone like me who is currently attending a course there, I'm better off asking my own class sensei.

But 7+7+14 pages of revision per week!?!? SERIOUSLY!? I'm already falling behind, needless to say. The grammar and vocabulary exercise are 1 page a day each, but the kanji is 2 pages a day and can be finished in 6 weeks. Because I have three months, I am taking my time on purpose. When I first got the kanji exercise book, I found that there are only about 300+ kanji inside it. N3 has 600 basic kanji, so where did the other 300 went? Well apparently the other 300 are all N4 kanji. Therefore studying for N3 assumes that you are acquianted with the N4 kanjis as well.

600 kanjis...I'm having problems with just 10 kanjis a week T_T. Kanji will be the end of me.

Ta'ra!

Redang Trip

I know I said I would post up pictures two days ago, but I got lazy. Anyway, here we go. From KL we took the overnight bus to Kuala Terrengganu; a journey that would normally take 7 hours including rest stop, but was only 6 hours and 20 minutes (the driver drove like a madman). But despite arriving early, our ride was already waiting there for us. I arranged this trip through a travel agent and we were picked up by a sightseeing van (van persiaran that's typical of travel agencies). Throughout our trip, our land rides have always been punctual. So this is a very good travel agent and I reccomend it to everyone on their first trip to Redang! This is their website: http://www.pinganchorage.com.my/.

Between arriving at KT and getting to the jetty, we did nothing much but have breakfast and took a nap at the agency's backpackers' inn. Anyway, when we finally got to the jetty, we were greeted by this:
Yup, that's our boat. Not very big but everyone and everything fit in there, surprisingly. The left walkway actally leaned sideways and creaked like it was going to collapse anytime. When I first arrived, it freaked me out because I was walking freaking sideways! But surprisingly, when we returned from the island, it didnt bother me at all. I must have gotten my sea legs by then hehe.

When we arrived to our jetty, the operator said we have another 45 minutes before the boat leaves so we could go and have a look round first before we leave. Each resort operates their own boat in Redang so there's no issue of being left behind. So, while we waited, what else to do but...shop? xD


The jetty was littered with stalls selling souvenirs like these, in addition to t-shirts and island themed shirts. I bought a pair of colorful pants and a shirt to wear for our snorkelling trips and some souvenirs for people at work.

When it was time to board, the journey to Redang took about 45 minutes. It wasn't unpleasant, and I wasn't seasick, but it was incredibly boring. But we finally arrived!

It was almost noon by then so it was pretty hot. The boat was at the direction of the sun so I couldnt take a good picture of it. We got off the boat at a jetty by the beach, but we had to trek up the beach to where our resort is, and that's where they dumped our bags on the beach, which was quite thoughtful of them. Since we won't have to haul them all they way in the hot sun.

The legends are true. The beaches ARE BLUUUUUE!

After lunch we went snorkelling. My friend rented mask and life jacket while I only rented life jacket because I have my own mask. Snorkelling gear and snorkelling trips are all organized by the resort's Snokeling Center. xD

The first island we went to was THE BEST! It was my first time snorkelling and conditions couldn't have been better. The water wasn't too deep and the sun was shining brightly, giving great visibility. We were hauled to the snorkelling sites on an old fishing boat and it was...weird. But at least it has no barrier which means you can jump off the boat from whichever spot you like! Hahahaha.

The resort staff were very helpful. They told those who can't swim to leave last after they have prepared the floaters. My friend couldn't swim, so I had to wait as well. :P But unlike other resorts who just tossed the floaters out there for non-swimmers to cling to, they stayed and guided the floaters in addition to teaching them to swim. One of them is a man we now call Pakcik (Uncle). He's really not that that old, but with that overly tanned skin he might as well be.

Anyway, since my friend couldn't swim, I hung out around the floater alot, as he gave the hanger ons a tour of the coral reef. After some time, he dove down into the water and produced a large, black, and pointy S-shaped sea cucumber! I was freaked out! Not only did he raise it out of the water, he put it to his ear and said "hello? Hello?"

Me: "WTF IS THAT?!"
Pakcik: "It's a telephone. Hello? Hello? There's a call for you." puts the sea cucumber on the floater.
My friend and I screamed. You should have SEEN that thing! BIG BLACK POINTY! RAAWR.

It was the only time my friend who clung to the floater like her life depended on it, let go of it. I asked him again and again what it was, and he insisted that it was a telephone. It was hilarious, but at the same time freaky. After he was done freaking out everyone around him, he dove down and put back the sea cucumber on the sea floor.

On our last day he finally admitted that it was not a telephone, but a sea cucumber. In fact, the one that he held was a male and has a very fragile nature despite its hard exterior. It can die from just a simple cut.

This pic is from our last snorkelling trip. There was a sudden influx of people, so the fishing boat was not enough.We had to use this baot too. This boat couldn't go to the jetty, so everyone had to board from the beach. xD I asked Pakcik what the delay was about, he said the trip is canceled and we're going hiking instead. "With life jacket and snorkel?" He said yes. My friend stayed in the boat coz she was not only unable to swim, but is also afraid of the water. Sighs.

So we spend our days snorkelling and eating, what do we do at night? Why, we go sightseeing of course! Along our stretch of beach there are seven resorts. Our resort is at the end of the beach and we could easily walk to the four resort during high tide. But during low tide at night, we could go all the way to the end of the beach!

We met this sister in one of the neighbouring resorts. She works in the gift shop and was making a bracelet for her friend. We stood around admiring her work for a while and took pictures. She was seriously very good at it. She should sell her own bracelet instead of those manufactured ones in the shop!


On the second night Pakcik escorted us all the way to the end of the beach where we took pictures, had tea and snacks and talked about kueh lapis! IT WAS TOTALLY FUN! It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't tagged along with us because the bend that connects the two parts of the beach is dark and too dangerous for two girls to traverse alone. PAKCIK YOU'RE AWESOME!
Not only that, he has turtles for pets! YEAH!


Our resort may be the cheapest and the most minimum, but its strategically located at the end of the beach, above the rocks, which give you this kind of view 360 degrees. I left Redang with a heavy heart. I looked forward to going back to KL, but I did not enjoy the thought of going back to KT. It was a miserable place for me. I wanted to just go straight from KL to Redang.

One of the reasons was because we made a lot of new connections there. There was a group of students from PTPTL College during our trip and we met a Sarawakian and immediately hit it off. And then there was Pakcik who was one of those rare genuinely nice people out there. My friend sms'd him on the first day of fasting and he called back. It was funny because he was in the middle of shopping and I just blathered on about crap. He said the most words when he was going to hang up because he had to pay for his stuff hahahaha.

I am definitely planning to go back there next year! I don't know yet if I'll be staying at the same resort. Depending on my company, I may go to Laguna Redang instead of Redang Holiday, simply because the resort was cooler and has ice cream shops and coffee shops. But the beach is not for swimming as it is an active boating area. But I doubt we'll get the same sort of 'old friend' feeling with the staff. Whatever it may be, one thing is for certain; I am not going to take the bus there ever again! RAWR 7 hours is enough to drive anyone crazy, especially with a selfish and inconsiderate bitch sitting in front of you! I'm flying there next time around.

I'll post up more pictures in facebook. Ta'ra!

p/s While doing this post, I did the dishes, cleaned the table, cleaned the stove, and had dinner. Just goes to show how low my interest in blogging has become.

p/s/s My feet was so tired last night that I decided that I was going to soak it in some relaxing concoction. At first I thought of buying some salt from the Body Shop, but then I didn't want to spend any money on it so I thought of maybe tea? I found some old earl greys in the pantry and used two tea bags. It took a while to get the temperature right, but it was so worth it! I soaked my feet while watching CSI, so it was about 45-50 minutes, which I think is really more than enough. But it was SOO relaxing! Not only that, when I took out my feet, they did not smell of earl grey! Hahaha. In fact, they didn't smell of anything at all! Usually even after I shower there will always be a faint lingering of damp socky smell. If I am bothered I would put foot cream, but after the tea, the smell was completely gone! Tea is deodorizing. I knew that, but to see it worked is amazing! xD So if you have smelly feet or you just want to relax your feet cheaply, just use the cheapest tea you can find and soak your feet in them. You'll get fresh feet for sure! XD

Redang Prologue

Yes, I've been too lazy to update my blog these days. No reason. I am simply lazy. No wonder my mental state has not been very good lately too. Anyway, I ralized my two-year dream of going to Redang the weekend before Ramadhan. I'm just wasting time before going to class, so here's a picture of me holding up a baby turtle. O_O <<--my eyes. My eyes aside, the baby turtle is just too cool. It kept on swimming even as I held it up out of the water. It was like *swim swim swim* *looks* *swim swim swim*. Too cool. I'm still vigorously attending my Japanese classes. I must have spent a fortune on it I think. But this year just when I thought I was ready to finally take on JLPT, a new syllabus presented itself and I just HAD to register for the brand spanking new level N3 instead of N4 which is a guaranteed pass at my level. But noooo, I just had to burden myself unnecessarily. So in order to help me pass, I signed up for the prepatory class and was smashed down to earth by the realization that it was probably out of my league. Probably. I was practically shot dead and became a zombie throughout the class. We did three tests. At least I know as long as it doesn't involve reading (kanji) I actually did well in listening.

But that's little to celebrate about. I have to memorize 600 kanji characters, which is double the amount of the previous JLPT 3 now JLPT N4. The sensei already warned us that its not going to be easy, and the classes only help little, and we have to put in the effort EVERYDAY. With NO BREAK. She told us to go buy the kanji workbook ourselves seeing as we don't have enough class time to cover kanji. Only Kino sells those kanji workbook and I have staff purchase to cushion the price.

In addition to the kanji workbook I also bought a new Japanese-english dictionary. I wanted only Japanese words you see. Now that I think about it, maybe I should buy a kanji dictionary too, pending I could learn how to use it. Raaawr. I'm SO glad I decided to forfeit my cousin's wedding for this. She is so not worth it.

Okay time for class. I'll post up Redang pics later tonight. Ta'ra!

p/s I need a new theme for this blog. The sushis have gone way past expiration.

New Year's Resolutions Revisited

I wrote down my new year's resolutions in my B5 ring binder on new year's eve before it went on my blog. I just happened to read them the other day and measured my success against it, and man am I proud! Here goes!

My 2010 New Year's Resolutions, mid-year review:

(in no order of importance except for the first one)

1. To graduate! Needs no explanation! Well it's not the end of the year`yet, but my reports are going along fine, so I hope it'll be realized soon!

2. To go on that Scandinavian tour xD. Okay this had to be postpone. So now it's NORWAY 2011 BABY! MY TICKETS ARE BOUGHT! I AM COMIIING!!!!!11111

3. To complete my Japanese lesson Advance 1 and 2 and JLPT level 3. I am most proud of this one. I completed Advance 1 and 2 and am now in Advance 3 yay me! JLPT changed from 4 to 5 levels so now I am aiming to take JLPT N4 and N3. I know that N4 is a sure pass, but since N3 is only slightly harder, I decided to take my chances with it anyway. They said N3 is now equal to Advance 4, which is starting around August so I am on track! Whee! Wish me luck! xD

4. To eat my supplements everyday (coz they are expiring soon heheh). Have completely gotten off the supplements wagon! I do prefer fresh veggies but I just forgot D:. I'll try to do better. I promise D:.

5. To come up with several plans (for my future) for the coming year. Holiday plans and carreer plans are up!

6. To have RM1087.92 in saving by the end of the year (that's my yearly loan repayment from nov 2010-oct 2011 btw). I have that amount now, but I have other plans for that.

7. To achieve my targeted amount of Snackelery sales. I haven't made any sales since the start of the year! Someone please buy! D:

8. To clean the house every two weeks. Is once a month good enough? xD

9. To check my monthly planner at least once a week. I don't really check it weekly, but I do update it often enough that I remember what's when and such. Thus my cute planner is sufficiently utilized.

10. To exercise 3 times a week and lose 5 kg! (This is a must every year!). Exercised. Scale is broken? xD Enough said.

Looking back it's amazing how frivolous my new year's resolutions seemed. And I'm not even sure if frivolous is being used in context. I mean yeah, graduating and Japanese lessons' targets are important, but supplements?

If I could make modifications I really should have added my goal of finishing my ISP reports by August 11th when the fasting month begins. At least I only have to worry about my thesis and pending paper. Pending I passed the one I sat before. I'm scared.

Anyway, I AM FINALLY GOING TO REDANG THIS YEAR YAAAY!!! I finally coerced one more person to accompany me and we are off just before the fasting month! I AM SUPER EXCITED! I have been wanting to go there for 2 years now! Now all I have to do is buy the bus tickets to K. Terengganu. I've never purchased a bus ticket before, so I'm a little intimidated. After that I'm heading to Masjid India to buy fabrics for my work uniform. HR Basically told me to put up with my short uniform because I am not important enough for a longer cutting uniform which are all BRAND NEW FIRST-HAND UNIFORMS RESERVED FOR MORE IMPORTANT PEOPLE THAN ME! So fucking pissed. What? Just because I'm a part-timer means I'm not entitled to good fitting uniforms!? I do more physical work than any of the full-timers in my unit okay!? Stupid HR! FINE! I'll make my own! AND IT WAS YOUR MANAGER WHO TOLD ME TO GET AN EXCHANGE!

Grr tomorrow (or today since its 3 am already) I have to go shopping full circle. My plans are like this:

Putra Bus Station --- Masjid India ---Mid Valley

Bus station for tickets, Masjid India for fabrics and finding a uniform tailor, Mid Valley to go pick up my L'Occitane card and to do some vain shopping. I totally deserved it. *Glares at my VISA*

Taxi to Putra, maybe taxi to Masjid India too. I know, there is a train that goes directly there from Putra, but it's such a long journey. I'll take the bus to midvalley, maybe? xD but definitely taxi on the way back home. will be a long day. Must wear comfortable shoes. Anyway, so excited! xD

Ta'ra! And my report is 99% finished! Just have to put up the references.

Nothing Speaks Louder than Insincerity

I heard you the first time. The second time is me being kind. The third time is me being uncaring. The fourth time is me annoyed. The fifth time...let's hope there isn't one.

Do you seriously think coming off as a friendly everyone's friend is going to score you points with everyone? Sure, everyone can be civil enough for you to expect the 'well, she didn't do anything to me so I'm fine with her' attitude, but do you seriously think that nobody would ever notice your real self? I've seen it and as I expected, I didn't like it.

And of course, the people you call your 'bossom buddies' also seemed to think the same way. If not, why do you think you've never been invited to our outings? Cause you're too busy? Are you sure? It's really because we just didn't want you there. You name never even gets mentioned. I'm sorry, no matter how hard you whore yourself out, nothing speaks louder than insincerity. And while we're on the subject. You're too clingy for taste.

That was just me venting out some supressed stress while waiting for the dawn prayer time. And yes, I was talking about EF. You may remember her from the previous post. Yesterday Kino had a massive stock-take, the only day of the year when the shop closes. EF must be shaking with exictement or something, with everyone working at the same time. It didn't matter that MY FRIENDS (who didn't give a damn about you by the way) reserved the tables first. You just came down and labeled the seats with people of your unit! WHAT IS THIS, KINDERGARTEN?! You're lucky I only disliked you and UHAW in that unit and I like everyone else, if not there would have been blood. Yours, of course.

Childish behavior notwithstanding, the tables soon filled up with a lot of unlikeable people so we, the original people moved away to a far away table. It's very ironic, but it was better that way. But seriously...

If I had been in a bitchier mood I would just sit down on any of those seats just to prove a point. What is she going to do? Send me away? Who is she to even talk to me when I don't even acknowledge her? 24 years old yet still acting like she's 4. And no, it's not cute.

Anyway, enough about EF. It's a known fact that I don't get along with friendly people in general. This is because I like exclusive friends. One or two close friends whom I get along with, hang out with and can talk about anything. It's small, it's simple, and easy to handle. And it goes both ways. 'Friendly' people are friends with everyone. They may be 'friendly' but they are friends with everyone but are close to none. They just want to appear friendly and approachable to make themselves popular. Popular for for being an attention whore of the wrong kind (I do admit to being an attention whore myself, but only of the good sort). Insincere people are such a waste of time. I sometimes wonder where they get the energy to put up all that act?

Again, this is just my opinion. If you disagree, you may prove me wrong. But not with more useless words. Word is cheap. Action speaks louder than words, but nothing speaks louder than insincerity. So please be careful with your words and actions. I am sensitive to these things, and can detect even the smallest hint of insincerity. Most of the time I brush it off because they are insignificant and one must not dwell on insignificant things, but if I pay attention to it, it means there are larger things afoot that I will look out for. Of course, my friendship may mean nothing to a 'friendly' person who is friends with everyone, but my actions will speak louder than words, and sooner or later people will notice. In the end, you're the only one who thinks you're friends with everyone while we all secretly look down on you for being such a pitifully lonely and annoying creature.

And yes, I am that mean. See if I care.

Ta'ra.

Little Big Happy Family

I found this little group finally formalizing at work. Well, good for them. I have always noticed them slowly getting closer and it's great that they found their comrades. In a place like that, you need that support group.

While I think it's a good idea, I personally am not comfortable in such a big group. I like my own small pockets of group with just one or two close friends. I had it before. But all these people have left. And even the current people are either leaving or I barely meet due to my short working week. And that group speaks Western Malay and I know what people think when I speak it, which is why I speak English, and I know what they think of that too. So how is it my fault if I'm not comfortable fitting in where I am never going to be comfortable anyway?

I sometimes don't know what is it with me but I can't seem to get along with nice people. The people in that group are all nice people. So nice they wouldn't say a bad word against someone until they are sure that person deserves it. Nice people are nice, and that's...it. I'm sure they bitch about things amongst themselves but at the same time makes excuses for that person's behavior. I suppose that's how we differ. After I decided that a person's core is bad, I don't make excuses for their behaviors. I simply accept it as it is. And I bitch about it openly, so people know where I stand. If people ask my opinion about said person I don't say "maybe...", I say "yes. She is like that. No other reason than that's how she is." I don't make excuses for other people's behaviors. They are adults. They should know how to behave themselves. Unless that person is a nice person whom I like then I will defend them. Within reason. Most of the time I left it to people to judge for themselves. I gave them my honest 2 cents, and let them evaluate themselves. They are freaking adults. They can think for themselves.

After all, as adults we should accept the fact that some personalities just won't match, and that while we can work together well, not everyone can get along all the time. Which is also why I am so loathed by the 'everyone's friend' personality. Here's a recent example:

EF= Everyone's friend, J Girl= a colleague who is also an ex student of my current language school so between me and EF, I am closer to J Girl.

EF: Oh, I'm so blur today.
J Girl: Oh, really?
Me: *passes by to go punch in*
EF: Hey Farah.
Me: Hey
EF: Where are you going? *grabs my hand*
Me: I need to go punch in.
EF: What? Hey didn't you say you wanted to get married?
Me: What!? I never said anything like that. I need to go - *I pulled my hand away so she grabbed my sleeve that bitch!*
EF: Didn't you say you wanted to get married? Come on! *continues pulling my sleeve*
Me: *not looking at her, yanked my hand away and strode away* No! Go away!

I was livid. And she was one year older than me. Not only is she obsessed with the idea of getting married, (I can't blame her since her fiance passed away late last year) but she HAD to say UHAW is not a bad person! Seriously, I can't say enough how obsessed she is with getting married. Each time I bump into her outside during working hours (on the way to the surau, the toilet, lunch, locker room) she would always mention it in one way or another (hey do you wanna get married? I wanna get married! Help me find someone to marry! bla bla bla). But I never held it against her. Because she was a nice person. Annoying, but still a nice person.

Pulling my shirt, seriously? How old are you? Although I was annoyed beyond remorse she acted like nothing wrong, so I played along (and that's what nice people do, right) at lunch while she was flirting with a colleague one year younger (codenamed Black Hole (BH))whom she had expressed no interest in at least TWO times, made me feel like a third wheel. And I hate, hate, HATE being made into a third wheel. I was asked how did I know she was flirting. Well it was obvious. They were both eating. Actually, only he was really eating. SHE kept her eyes on him at all times. Yes, while she was looking at him, I was looking at her. Her eyes were almost unblinking, and she was commenting at every little thing he did and said. EVERY LITTLE THING! If I was him I would have been annoyed already.

I mentioned it later once three had become four. And she went all...

EF: What? Did I look like I was flirting?
Me: Yes. You totally were.
EF to BH: Do you think I was fliritng?
BH: Huh? Flirting? who?
Me: Well, of course, you being a guy wouldn't notice that.
BH: Notice what?
Me: Exactly.

Sighs. She asked me about it later about why I thought she was flirting. I only told her what I saw. Or at least what I thought I saw but to me that was what it looked like: she was flirting with him plain and simple. It may be true, it may not, she may deny it, she may agree to it; it's up to her. To me it was that. And I was just stating my honest observation.

Yes I know, I am not a nice person. Yes I do admit to being mean, but I'll be meaner if I wasn't honest and put up with annoying people. Which is probably why I do not get along with 'nice' people. Or are they? I seriously do not know how other people define niceness. Although I will still label people as nice or not nice or bitch, and my definition may be askewed, but so far it has worked well for me because it has been useful in helping me adjust accordingly to them.

Aloofness is a virtue.

Little Big Happy Family indeed.

Ta'ra!

Milk

Say what you will about milk, but one thing remains the same: It is the BEST source of protein for the human body. You can argue that there are soy and egg and fish, but what is the first thing they feed you when you were born? That's right, milk. Enough said. Unless you're alergic to milk, please source your protein elsewhere.

Anyway, when I was in kindergarten up till primary 2 or so, my dad would ensure that we drink milk after every swimming lesson; which was everyday. Even if we were eating out after swimming, he would stare us down until we order something containing milk. Yes, my dad was that strict. I'm sure there were other parents even stricter than ours, but please don't tell me about it. (Which is why I find ADHD crap. Drugs to treat insolent behavior in children? Pfft! You stupid ang moh! There is already a very affective cure for insolent children here; a cane.)

When I was 9 I broke my wrist and stopped swimming so my milk streak ended too. After that I still like milk, but I don't drink it regularly. This is because anything milky in the morning upsets my stomach, and we only had the cold ready-to-drink milk available because my mom no longer buys the milk powder for us adults. Cold drink early in the morning? No thank you! :x

I read somewhere (everywhere) that when you're in you're 20s your body is still gathering bone mass thus needed to store up on calcium. At 30 your body stops gathering bone mass and starts using it. So it is essential to get as much calcium as possible to ensure you have a strong body as you grow older. I started exercising after I finished high school and drank milk everyday; the low fat kind. To make sure I had two glasses worth a day I had it with cereal. So cereal became my breakfast. After that one year dedicated to fitness it became a habit to drink milk everyday. Besides, it is quite filling which makes for a good and quick breakfast.

Before, I would go out and buy the milk on my way to work/class so if I don't have work/class I don't drink milk. I don't keep them around at home due to the short shelf life. I only keep a small bottle of full cream milk to drink with tea and even that often gets thrown out halfway. So now I made it a mission to drink at least 2 glasses of milk a day. A regular glass I take it. How many mililiters I have no idea. So the other day I went to the supermarket and saw powder milk! Thus my dilemma began.

So this Dutch Lady milk powder has 3 flavours: full cream, honey and plain. Full cream is out because it has too much unnecessary fat, and my stomach could no longer handle it. Honey is good not just because it tastes good. Drinking hot milk with honey before bed helps in flattening your abs if you're into that. And it did work, mind you. So I was left between honey and plain. For every 230ml, which was one serving, plain has 147 calories while honey has 149. It was only 2 calories, but I took the plain one, in case I get bored of the honey taste. I can always add honey if I want to.

Now, when I bought the milk powder, I have one and a half carton of low fat milk in the fridge. I went to check the calorie content; for every 250ml, it has only 120 calorie. Calorie-wise, the plain milk powder has 27 more calories than the low fat milk. It looks like an obvious choice to just stick with low fat milk than to change to milk powder and took on the extra 27 calories. But I didn't change. I simply varied them.

Eventhough the milk powder has 147 calories, it contains pure milk. The lowfat milk on the other hand, contains flavoring to make up for the loss of taste due to its fat being trimmed away. Now, I am not against flavoring, but I do agree that less flavoring is better, being artificial and such. I used to put the milk into the microwave to heat them when I want it hot, but it's so complicated. So with milk powder I just add hot water and sugar and have myself hot milk just like the old days! xD

So. Milk, or milk powder? I say both. Why limit yourself? After all, my fitness goal is to be fit and stronger and healthier. I will eat healthier but it doesn't mean I will eat only healthy things xD. Life and food needs to enjoyed. In moderation. As you become fitter, the weight would go away on its own.

Now, I need to shower and study at least one chapter for the test this Saturday. Tonight I will go to Kino with sensei and Totchi to check out the new JLPT books. I am determined! xD and besides, sensei has those vouchers he got for teacher's day. He needs to go shopping now!

Ta'ra!

Now You've Done It!

Another ranting post. And she totally deserved it.

My cousin was so mean! Here I was, trying to drop by for her wedding, trying my best to work around my crazy schedule, and this is what I got! Observe:

I called [cousin A] yesterday just to ask what's up, and she said she's at [Aunt B]'s house with her mom. [Aunt B]'s daughter is getting married end of the year so I thought I'd confirm the date again, and assured them that my ticket has been booked months ago. So [cousin A] handed the phone to [cousin B] instead.

Me: Hey, when is your wedding again?
[cousin B]: It's at the end of the year, around early December. Are you coming?
Me: Yeah, my ticket is booked, but I need the precise date. (my planner was in front of me)
[cousin B]: It's really early December. 4th? 5th?
Me: 4th is Saturday, 5th is Sunday. It's the first week of December.
[cousin B]: Yeah, yeah, 4th and 5th, you're coming, right? I'll see you then!
Me: Wait! I think I have an exam on the 5th and I really can't go -
[cousin B]: Then ask for an exemption.
Me: I can't! This exam is held only once a year and if I miss it I have to wait until next year!
[cousin B]: Oh, why can't you just ask for an exemption then?
Me: (I already SAID!!!) It's held only once a year, and it's international, not -
[cousin B]: Just say you have something up, I'm sure they will let you. bla bla bla.
Me: sighs. It's decided. I can't go on the 5th. What's going on on the 4th then?
[cousin B]: The akad nikah (ceremony) will be on the 4th, and the reception on the 5th at a hotel.
Me: Oohh? What hotel?
[cousin B]: It's a hotel in Miri! Like you would know!
Me: (Isn't it obvious that I'm offended by the previous remark? I'm not from Miri, but was that necessary!?) ...okay, what time? At night?
[cousin B]: In the morning of course!
Me: And on the 4th?
[cousin B]: In the afternoon.
Me: Okay I can't go. So do you want me to come later or earlier?
[cousin B]: (after much back and forth) come earlier. The families would have gathered by then, even [Aunty C] comes on the 28th! (she and [Aunty C]'s family are close)
Me: Okay I'll come earlier then. So is [cousin C] going to be your flower girl?
[cousin B]: What? Flower girl!? You're too big to be a flower girl! The dais would collapse if you were my flower girl!
Me:(Offended beyond remorse)...I meant [cousin C], not me.
[cousin B]: Oh her, no, she's not a flower girl. It's not what we'd call it.
Me: Then a bridesmaid?
[cousin B]: Yeah a bridesmaid. Not a flower girl.
Me: Oh she's always wanted to be a flower girl. Everyone she's waited to be a flower girl of hasnt gotten married yet. So is she going to have a special outfit?
[cousin B]: Well that's something she will talk to her mother about. I'm sure they'll come up with something. (isnt the bride normally provides the bridesmaid clothes?)
Me: I bet they'll come up with something.
[cousin B]: So, don't forget my wedding present! You're earning now, right? I want a present.
Me: (surprised?) What do you want?
[cousin B]: Huh? What do I want?
Me: As your wedding gift. Anything I can get you? And it's not going to be my money. It's daddy's money.
[cousin B]: You're working aren't you?
Me: Yeah, and so is daddy and he makes more money than me. So what do you want?
[cousin B]: Well I don't know yet. I'll see what I need. See ya later. Bye bye. *clicks off*

Oh yes, I know exactly what to get for your wedding; a crate of cheese spray so your ass would balloon after the wedding and BREAK YOUR WEDDING BED! THAT'S IT! I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR WEDDING! YOU'RE A WASTE OF MY TIME!

p/s BITCH

Resolution in Motion

Hello. Man, I really need to insert some life into this blog. I've started exercising again since the past 2 weeks or so. It all re-started after an impulse buy of the latest SHAPE magazine. The one with Kristy Curtis on the front cover. All nice and orangey xD. What I like about SHAPE is that the magazine is all about health and fitness without being hardcore. It treats every publication as if it's everyone's first step into fitness, thus provides small and easy stuff to follow and not in-your-face.

So I bought the magazine and thought, "hey, this is easy. I could do this." So I decided that I will exercise again without being hardcore and for no other reason than I want to be fit, and stronger (and look better? xD). After all, my job is physically demanding (big sister notwithstanding. I fear for her future husband. She is insatiable :P).

I decided to take it slowly. I ran on the treadmill and see how much I could handle, and after that I went back and lifted weights. I will not push myself because I HAVE to exercise. I WANT to exercise, and if I don't feel like it, I'll tell myself to just stay home, warm up for 5 minutes, and lift weights. But of course I always ended up doing more than I planned. Which is really the goal hehe.

In addition to exercise I also changed my diet. Lately I've been eating to survive more than anything. But I've had unpleasant experiences with eating 'healthy', because most of the time they don't taste good. This time around I will choose healthier options, but if they don't taste good I'll not eat it. Whole grain bread sandwich is good, and so is cereal with milk. Milk provides protein and calcium, and apparently it's important for women in their 20s since the body is still building bone mass, and needs a lot of calcium. I'm still exploring what other tasty things I could eat hehehehe.

Well I'm off to school to harrass my supervisor. Ta'ra!

It's Not So Bad

My recent posts must have made it sound like my life is depressing. But on the contrary, I left the junk in my head on this blog and walk away a happier person. Just now I called up Borders to ask about the latest Yaoi that they most probably will have. They picked up on the third try. Well, considering it's Sunday, I was lucky to be picked up at all. If it was Kinokuniya....I would gladly ignore the call in favor of the walk-in customers crowding the counter. This time I knew better than to give them the title. I just gave her the ISBN number. I had several bouts of frustration during those long days of calling in about Junjo Romantica 10. They always misspelled.

Anyway, they don't have the manga yet, and if I'm not mistaken, it hasn't even been ordered yet. But the girl said call-in reservation was accepted, so I'm happy either way hehehe.The manga is out; that's all that matters. Too bad kino doesn't order yaoi anymore.

But anyway, the first Japanese essay I did was very elementary school level. It was a jikoshoukai. Very simple. But I think I went overboard in telling about my hopes and dreams, and being told my English was too good by my superior as my primary motivation to improve my Japanese now. But I wrapped it up by 'subtly' inviting the sensei over to Kinokuniya. The sensei underlined the last sentence and put a big smiley right next to it! Hahaha

I was admittedly bitter and sad and very determined when I wrote that essay, and I supposed the feelings came through. Since then, sensei has been giving me specific instructions whenever we're doing 'trivial' class activities. If it was just a simple dialogue session, he'd tell me to write it down, and went out of his way (by using English, which is really not allowed hehehe) to explain stuff to me. No offense to my previous sensei, but she intimidated me a bit. This latest sensei reminded me a lot of Ooshiro Sensei who is no longer Ooshiro since she got married. But let's just call her Ooshiro.

Even BAUC and people I'm friendly with at work patted my back (figuratively) and told me to go for it after I told them about my plan. I was surprised, really, because they knew it would be hard, since everything is done differently; from ordering to display to customer demographics. And somehow they thought I could do it. I am daunted by the prospects, but nevertheless excited by it; all those stuff I could learn!

It's silly how happy I get from their subtle encouagement. Thank you. xD

I will do my best!

Time for work! Whee

Ta'ra!

p/s How are you by the way, Klops?

Lynn: Indeed she is shallow, and I have decided to not take her words to heart. Dumbing myself down for the sake of dumb people? How dumb can you get!?

Rahim: That sounds so mafan.

My Maybank Story

Aaaargh!! Approximately one week before my birthday, I lost my wallet at Times Square. It contained money, my mykad, ATM cards and perhaps my sister's touch n go card (she doesn't know it yet). Money can be replaced, but those cards are troublesome. Sighs.

So the first thing I had to do was made a police report. They had issues with me speaking English, so I had to re-explain myself in Malay, which is slower, and gave them the upperhand to talk more than they should. I made the initial report at KL Central Pondok Police (police hut?) , but they told me Times Square is under Dang Wangi's jurisdiction, and their little pondok had no computer to record my report. All they had was a report pad that came from the 80s. So I had to go to the right police station with a freaking computer. I enlisted the help of my friend who took his bro along, because the people over at the pondok police told me to bring along a male escort. Well, after I arrived, the 'male escorts' didn't seem quite necessary seeing as how 4/5 of the officers on duty that night were female, and the station worked much like a bank, with numbers and such.

Next I made my replacement IC. Seriously, did the makcik (aunty) behind the counter had to make such a fuss over us Sarawakians all being BLACK PEPPER FIELD MILLIONAIRES!?!?!? Seriously! It's only RM110! AND I WASN'T EVEN AWARE OF SOME FREAKING STUDENT DISCOUNTS SO JUST SHUT UP GIVE ME MY TEMPORARY CARD AND GO BACK TO YOUR MUNDANE LIFE ALREADY AAAARGGHHH!!!!

huff huff huff

Right. So next started my Maybank story. Sighs...remember this for all you Sarawakians who found themselves in the same predicament as me. As of today I made 4 trips to Maybank all over one measly old card! Well I didn't know I could make counter withdrawals, so if they denied me a card again today I would have only 15 ringgit to last for the next 24 hours!

The first time I went to Maybank KLCC I haven't made my temporary mykad yet. So all they could do was cancel my previous ATM. But I asked the guy what I would need to make a new card since I am not local and have no mykad. He said to just bring:

1. My temporary IC
2. Supporting document (INTERNATIONAL Passport only. Don't believe them if they state otherwise. Although your birth cert could work too, but INTERNATIONAL passport is best)
3. My account book
4. My police report

The reason being my home branch is in Sarawak, and such cases is usually handled by the home branch only, since that's where you signed stuff. But apart from these documents, he neglected to mention to me the working hours such cases are handled. Yes, my dear Sarawakians, there is apparently a time limit to such cases. This is the procedure of getting your ATM card without mykad, and WITH your temporary IC.

Monday-Thursday 9am-5pm, Friday 9am-4pm.

I got this info during my second visit, and was told to go home to Sarawak to do it instead because I came on a Friday at 4:01pm!!*seethes*

But that is not ALL!!

On the third time, I arrived at 4:05 on a Tuesday, which should be fine since I have about 55 minutes before the time is up. And they added another condition; because they have to get my information/documents from the Sarawak branch, such things must be handled BEFORE 4:30 PM!! So let me amend the above...

Monday-Thursday 9am-4:30pm, Friday 9am-3:30 pm.

There! The woman didn't mention anything other than there would be charges for the new card. No mention of the need for the above documents or whatnot. She simply said it needed to be done before 4:30pm, and since it was 4:10, she gave me a number anyway. I think she did that just to pacify me. Hmmph.

But as I sat down, there were 3 people ahead of me, and the one currently being served has his butt firmly glued to the chair. I was number 38, and 35 was currently being served. By 4:30, 36 had just been called!! AAAARRRGGHHHHH

Having only 35 ringgit (12 ringgit is saved for the new card charges, so I have about 22 ringgit to spend, really) to last for the next 24 hours, I resigned from the yellow ottoman and walked away to get myself fed with something less than 10 ringgit. I had spaghetti meatballs from the Signatures food court. It just frustrated me how I kept getting more and more new information the more times I went. The next time I resolved to keep my butt glued to the chair until I get my damn ATM card. I WANT MY MONEY DAMNIT!

So, the fourth time, frustrated to barfing point at the KLCC Maybank branch, I decided to go to the Bukit Bintang branch. I didn't know they had coutner services before because their counters are tucked deep inside the throng of self-service terminals. I went, and arrived at 2:50, told them the same story. The lady ensured that I brought along all the above documents, making certain it was an international passport before she gave me my number. So I sat, and waited.

When I was finally called, she talked to me for five minutes before saying I should come back tomorrow with the same stuff because they had to contact the Sarawak branch and ask them to send over documents that I had signed. The signature apparently is a big deal. I sat open-mouthed for like 5 seconds. She repeated the same thing to me, and I was like, "okay, so how would you know tomorrow if my documents are here or not when I come back?" She thought about it for a while, then told me to fill in a form (so the form is an afterthought!?). I filled it in as she took my stuff again and told me to wait and fill in the form. I sat there, filled in the form and when she came back five minutes later, there was a bright cherry red maybank card with her tucked in between my passport and account book, sat down, said "okay, we're done.", took the form that I had dilligently filled in, crumpled it and threw it away.

....I stood open-mouthed again for the second time.

"Pardon?"

"We're done." indicating the card on the table and typing stuff into the computer.

"What just happened!?"

"Well, just now I said we needed to verify your signature, and here it is, on your account book. My boss said it's fine, so it's done." she indicated the 'blank' signature box on my account book. I said there was nothing there, then she put it under the UV light and revealed my signature and two Maybank logo on the two pages. "But you have to sign exactly like on this book. Can you?"

It took me several tries, as my signature is different each time. Finally, satisfied, I signed the back of my new card. Then I had to sign a lot of stuff. Just placing down signatures 3 times on the same sheet of paper on different areas. After that she told to go have a seat and my name will be called from counter 19.

I was in a daze but relieved at the same time. I was called, signed some more stuff, then was released with a new ATM card. I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO GET MY MONEY!!! RAAAWRR!!

So, to fellow Sarawakians, the moral of the story; losing your IC outside of Sarawak can really make you feel like a foreigner. These service people tend to dismiss you quickly and tell you about how or why you can't do this or that (simply because you're Sarawakian), but they often neglect to mention how you can. So if you feel funny and unsatisfied, glue your butt to the damn chair until your doubts disappear and you know clearly what your hurdles were, and what your next steps are. Imagine if I hadn't been specific with the lady at the BB Maybank just now. I would just walked out of there frustrated again, expecting to have this shit resolved tomorrow pending they even remembered to ask for my doucments from the Sarawak branch! Sighs, you peninsular weirdos. I don't likes you!

I'm off to burn some calories. Ta'ra!

Birthday, and something else...

I turned 23 last Thursday. Had a fun little gathering. I get to reconnect with my cousin and an old family friend, and got to know her friend. All Sarawakians, which was what I needed at the time. Sarah had 3 birthday cakes. I had only 2. It's not fair. I will get one more! Then I will write a post about my birthday xD.

Now, I feel like a hypocrite. The day after my birthday, I received news that mentioned old family friend's elder sister got into a horrible car accident. I didn't know the details very well then, but all I remembered was that her brain had poured out of her skull, she couldn't be operated on (because that means instant death) but somehow is still alive. Barely. I was shocked, mostly because of the accident. We were just talking about her the day before and such. My mom told me not to say anything to her, and I agreed it was not my place. Not long after my cousin told me about the accident, and that the sister already took a flight back home earlier in the day.

I was saddened, and shocked, and in a lot of worry. And at the same time I felt like a hypocrite. Their family and mine used to be very close when I was about 11. So close we took vacations to the beach together often. I was closer to the elder sister, admittedly and we had a lot of fun times. But as we grew up, we grew apart because of issues between our families, but when we met again after a few years, we talked as if nothing has changed. So if we are not so close now, then why should I feel so bad? I'm not sure. Perhaps it's because she's young, only 24. And the accident was so horrible, and even though she somehow lived on, God Willing, parts of her brain would have to be removed, and she will never make a 100% recovery.

Perhaps I'm just being nostalgic, as people always do when someone they know personally is suddenly struck by such a tragedy. I don't know. But even though we don't think of each other very often, it doesn't change the fact that we used to be close, and are still amiable friends, and that our families are close (again). I would never wish such a thing on my worst enemies, and her, far from it. Right now, in her condition, I could only leave her in God's hands, because He knows best. And I can only do what I can for her.

Pray for her. God, she is so young.

And birthday post later. Ta'ra.

Holding Back

I realized recently that ever since I started work I've been holding back a lot. For instance;

1. I don't let it known that I'm Sarawakian unless asked.
2. I don't tell people I live in Bukit Bintang unless asked.
3. I eat the cheaper stuff on the menu because that's what everyone is having, even though half the time they make me sick.
4. I don't express my dislike towards a person who annoys me until they insulted something I like.
5. I don't let it known we have 8 cars, unless asked (when people are talking about cars).
6. I don't tell people what car I drive, unless asked or when I offer them a ride.
7. I don't talk about my plans for the near future because yes, Scandinavia is not a cheap region and Japanese lessons are not cheap.
8. I also don't tell people my biological make-up or the fact that I am taking a BA in Business Management and my plans to become a billionaire.

I dont, simply because it will invite prejudice. But I suppose it's not just the culture here in the peninsular that you are always judged race-first, everything else second. It's partly human nature as well. But then, despite me holding back and trying to remain anonymous - another face in the crowd - it's impossible. Certain traits of mine just won't stay concealed and made themselves a permanent accessory that I have to keep adjusting in whichever situation I'm in. I know the traits of being a leader is practically ingrained in me. I think I was born with it, and after some time I conciously sharpened it.

I am well-aware of the fact that I like to take charge and be in charge, and that I know when I'm wrong or right. When I took up this job I wanted to apply the same skills and traits into being a follower. I wanted to learn from other types of leadership skills and styles. I wanted to test myself; whether I was capable of being a good follower.

That said, I don't think my English being TOO GOOD is a handicap. Last Monday Big Sister pulled me aside after I had a bit of an outburst about adjusting the work attittude around our unit a little. She took it seriously, and started talking to every member of the unit and pulled me aside after that. We had a LOOONG talk. Personally I thought 80% of what she said was irrelevant. Because in the end I asked her what is it that she wanted me to do differently, because obviously I did nothing wrong. She said;

"Because your English is too good, the new people found you hard to approach, so please speak more tenderly and tone down your English a bit."

I nearly lost it when she said that. Seriously, the sentence above is self-explanatory isn't it?

I told her these two things in return; one, I will not dumb myself down and compromise my English for anybody's sake, regardless of who they are; and two, I will try to be nicer. It will be difficult because I don't know what that entails, but for the sake of your precious unit, I will try.

Up until that moment, I really was just playing with the idea of joining JBD, if my Japanese got good enough, but at that exact moment, when you're told your English is TOO GOOD to work in the ENGLISH book department, the thought of joining a foreign language book department was no longer an option. It's the alternative. The moment I told her I'm Sarawakian, and English being my second language, and Malay third, Japanese fourth, was the moment when I stopped caring about her prejudices (which was included in the 80% I mentioned earlier). I believe the fact that I'm Sarawakian is also very irrelevant to the conversation. And once I've resorted to pulling my 'I'm Sarawakian' card, meant I have surrendered to the stupidity of irrelevance and stopped caring completely.

JBD is my goal now. The staff are all Chinese, excluding the Japanese managers. I assume they speak Japanese well, but speaks Chinese to each other. When I join, my Japanese would be as bad as my Malay, and since English is not popular, there would be no issue of my English being TOO GOOD being a problem. Sighs.

I guess I should stop holding back too much. It's really quite suffocating.

Ta'ra.

Not Unreasonable

*WARNING: Flaming ahead*
I am not unreasonable. I never thought of asking unreasonable things. When I ask for something unreasonable, I know it's unreasonable. When I ask things that seemed unreasonable, it is only unreasonable on the surface. Below the surface there's always some thing: I did something in the past that went unsaid and unrewarded, which, although was sincere on my part, when done by someone else, they received a reward. I would never revoke them when I ask for said 'unreasonable' thing, and I will willingly do them again in the future, but that doesn't change the fact that it's not an unreasaonable thing to ask for, so is a little consideration too much to ask for?!

I also think it's not unreasonable to set some reasonable expectations of someone you think you know quite well. For instance, you know someone well enough that they would not lie, cheat or steal for money, so it is perfectly reasonable to not expect them to do so. You can argue that people are willing to do extreme things when pushed to desperation, but we are of course not talking about any extreme things.

So when people do shatter your expectations by stooping lower than your perceived moral values of theirs, you have the right to be disappointed. Even more so when you put a low expectation of them and yet they still break even that. In your mind you still want to think positively about such persons but it's hard when they keep smearing their own reputation to you. So it's not your fault when you decide to keep your distance because you feel like you don't know this person anymore thus protecting yourself from getting hurt further.

I believe it is a very reasonable thing to do.

I sometimes wonder if it's just me or is it really them. Was I too nice? Too naive? Then again, what's wrong with that? What's wrong in believing only the good in people? Sure, everyone thinks your friend is a slut, but though you agree your friend is not the most pious person around, she's not a slut like everyone thinks. And then your friend went and do things behind your back that while seemingly harmless, enforces the perception by other people that she's a slut. Yet you kept firm to your own belief, while other people sigh and roll their eyes at you saying "oh you poor deceived friend". So does that make you ignorant? Just plain naive? You have been deceived by your 'friend', and the only one who doesn't know it is you. Is it wrong to believe in someone towards the end that they will eventually come through? Is it too much to ask that they won't shatter your expectations anymore? Has your friendship only meant everything when you are there, but nothing when you are not there? If so, then is it a friendship worth having?

Is it?

I think I'm about done looking for faults with myself. I have never mentioned this before to anyone through anywhere, but whenever I find myself angry or upset and someone or something, the first thing I look at is myself first and foremost; is it my fault? what have I done wrong? Why did I do that? Was it reasonable for me to be upset/angry?

Only after I answer these questions would I start directing my anger towards that someone/something. When such things happened in an important relationship of mine, I looked even deeper, digging in so deep that when I find that though I may be a bit selfish, I have the right to be that much selfish, and, looking at our relationship, I deserve a bit more consideration than I was given. Sometimes looking too deep blinded me to the fact that it really wasn't my fault, that was why I couldn't find any. Someone had trampled upon my rights and I just let them. Perhaps just letting that happened was a fault of mine too.

And so now what? I'm upset and angry, and nobody is taking responsibility. Nobody cared. Is it because it was unreasonable? No. It's never been about whether I was being unreasonable or not. It never was. There's only been one thing: nobody cares. Sad, but true. Nobody cares. And why should they, really? Why should they? Why should they care if you can't control your own emotion and got angry? It's your own fucking problem. And so since it is my fucking problem, I shall deal with it my way. I choose to deal with it by staying away from you in the future, and talking coldly to you, and no longer caring what your fucking problem is. I, a self-proclaimed people hater, spent precious minutes bothering about your well-being while you don't fucking even care to send me one measly text other than to saying "it's been a while. I've been so busy with my boy toys and useless friends who kept asking me for favours (of course I help them coz I'm so nice) that I forgot to say hi to you, my only friend who never gives me any trouble and is also so nice to me that I decided to take you for granted and only talk to when you drive AAALL the way here to meet me. Oof course I would see you more often too if only I have a car. Until then I have my toyboys to keep me company. So, are you okay?" To this I reply sarcastically, to which she would say that I am so easily pissed off. Of course, when you send me such a stupid sms OF COURSE I'LL BE FUCKING PISSED! I FUCKING HATE stupid questions and assumptions that I am so easily pissed when THEY WERE THE ONES WHO PROVOKED ME FIRST!

...And that is why I say people are useless. Basing your emotions and happiness over someone else's fickle mind will always, without fail, makes you unhappy. And I am at my last straw. Up until today I had put my faith on people, but no more.

From now on I shall have no expectation of other people anymore. It's going to be a lonely path, but how much different is it from now anyway?

I believe it is quite reasonable to do so.

Ta'ra.