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Monday, December 7, 2009

I know you can't have everything you want...

But is having my own bed so much to ask!??? D:

I want my own bed!! *cries like a baby*

Ta'ra!

Friday, December 4, 2009

I Am Not Pathetic, Really

I just saw my duty roster for the month of December...and it will be HEEELLLLLL!!!!



Well, it won't be if you're used to working five days straight a week. I'm still on a college student schedule you see...



Basically I work five days straight then I get 2 days off. But this isn't some damn office job. I'll be mentally unstable by the time I get to the fifth day, just you wait and see!



Anyway. I wanna talk about last night. Again, I worked a double shift. It originally was a 'special request', but it really was an executive order in disguise. I could have refused, saying I had plans, but I didn't. Mainly because I'm greedy. But really, I'm not complaining, because there are other people who got more crap than me, but I have never seen other part-timers in other units (or even ours) pulling that kind of extended shift like me! Yet knowing I have the extra time to do wrapping, I rushed through like a madwoman on steroids and still I got told I didn't do good enough!

RAWR!!

My spirits that were soaring high up in the sky plummeted down to the ground then crashed and burned into a million pieces - all in a matter of a fracture of a second! After being told that, the smile froze on my face and I cried inside. Have you ever cried inside before? Let me tell you it's not easy! Certainly wasn't pleasant either! You felt useless, pathetic and hollow inside yet you still have to pretend like you've done an amazing feat and still trying to brush it off as nothing big.

It was so hard.

So hard when your worth is measured in trolleys.

So hard that I had to take my time to reflect afterwards. Instead of taking the taxi, I waited for the bus simply because I needed that waiting time to reflect on what just happened and come to terms with it. To convince myself that despite it all, yes, despite it all, it only serves to confirm what an awesome person I am.

I have stamped my foot down before, and I will do it again. I want to be here. I'm here on a mission, and nothing on this Earth can stop me from completing my unholy mission! Ever.

Jiggly puff can try and jiggle her fat all over me for all I care, but you're the one without a life outside of Kino, while I will have a much better life once I leave Kino.

And besides, it's stupid to let idiots like her to stop you from achieving your dream. Can you imagine one day when your grandchildren ask you why didn't you do what you want to do and your answer is "because an idiot colleague stood in my way and I got tired of it"?

How pathetic is that?

I hate feeling pathetic. I hate feeling it, even just for a moment. Thus I shall not resign the rest of my life to feeling pathetic. Shall I fail in that endeavor and still feel pathetic, I'll make other people feel pathetic with me.

Let's hope it never gets to that.

Ta'ra!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A Quick One

In the middle of an instant noodle lunch!

I've had two outings with people from work so far. Such outings are always fun and the people you go with are quite random because all of us have only two days off a week. While part-timers can request beforehand which days they can and can't work, full-timers are left to the mercy of their unit chief. Both were movie outings.

It's fun because you get to talk about things you can't at work. All those power plays and social clans are best avoided and just hang out with neutral people. Either way is fun for me, because I like taking advantage of any situation I'm in. OOooh that's so bad XD. But it's better than being drawn into other people's battles. I'd rather be in my own and content to stay there until my opponent is eradicated! Hahaha!

Anyway. Three movies yesterday. Ninja Assassin at Times Square and then came home and watched Kung Fu Panda and Madagascar 2. Luckily for me I have the afternoon shift today. Those two have the morning shift today hehehe.

Overall, I have a clearer picture of the situation on why this and that are the way they are. It's not called being nosey. It's called getting your bearings. I'm relieved that other people share the same opinion as me on certain people an situation, which means that I was not being paranoid all along! I was simply being too nice.

Me? Nice!?

I need to get to work. Ta'ra!

p/s Redz, I work at Kinokuniya.