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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Little Big Happy Family

I found this little group finally formalizing at work. Well, good for them. I have always noticed them slowly getting closer and it's great that they found their comrades. In a place like that, you need that support group.

While I think it's a good idea, I personally am not comfortable in such a big group. I like my own small pockets of group with just one or two close friends. I had it before. But all these people have left. And even the current people are either leaving or I barely meet due to my short working week. And that group speaks Western Malay and I know what people think when I speak it, which is why I speak English, and I know what they think of that too. So how is it my fault if I'm not comfortable fitting in where I am never going to be comfortable anyway?

I sometimes don't know what is it with me but I can't seem to get along with nice people. The people in that group are all nice people. So nice they wouldn't say a bad word against someone until they are sure that person deserves it. Nice people are nice, and that's...it. I'm sure they bitch about things amongst themselves but at the same time makes excuses for that person's behavior. I suppose that's how we differ. After I decided that a person's core is bad, I don't make excuses for their behaviors. I simply accept it as it is. And I bitch about it openly, so people know where I stand. If people ask my opinion about said person I don't say "maybe...", I say "yes. She is like that. No other reason than that's how she is." I don't make excuses for other people's behaviors. They are adults. They should know how to behave themselves. Unless that person is a nice person whom I like then I will defend them. Within reason. Most of the time I left it to people to judge for themselves. I gave them my honest 2 cents, and let them evaluate themselves. They are freaking adults. They can think for themselves.

After all, as adults we should accept the fact that some personalities just won't match, and that while we can work together well, not everyone can get along all the time. Which is also why I am so loathed by the 'everyone's friend' personality. Here's a recent example:

EF= Everyone's friend, J Girl= a colleague who is also an ex student of my current language school so between me and EF, I am closer to J Girl.

EF: Oh, I'm so blur today.
J Girl: Oh, really?
Me: *passes by to go punch in*
EF: Hey Farah.
Me: Hey
EF: Where are you going? *grabs my hand*
Me: I need to go punch in.
EF: What? Hey didn't you say you wanted to get married?
Me: What!? I never said anything like that. I need to go - *I pulled my hand away so she grabbed my sleeve that bitch!*
EF: Didn't you say you wanted to get married? Come on! *continues pulling my sleeve*
Me: *not looking at her, yanked my hand away and strode away* No! Go away!

I was livid. And she was one year older than me. Not only is she obsessed with the idea of getting married, (I can't blame her since her fiance passed away late last year) but she HAD to say UHAW is not a bad person! Seriously, I can't say enough how obsessed she is with getting married. Each time I bump into her outside during working hours (on the way to the surau, the toilet, lunch, locker room) she would always mention it in one way or another (hey do you wanna get married? I wanna get married! Help me find someone to marry! bla bla bla). But I never held it against her. Because she was a nice person. Annoying, but still a nice person.

Pulling my shirt, seriously? How old are you? Although I was annoyed beyond remorse she acted like nothing wrong, so I played along (and that's what nice people do, right) at lunch while she was flirting with a colleague one year younger (codenamed Black Hole (BH))whom she had expressed no interest in at least TWO times, made me feel like a third wheel. And I hate, hate, HATE being made into a third wheel. I was asked how did I know she was flirting. Well it was obvious. They were both eating. Actually, only he was really eating. SHE kept her eyes on him at all times. Yes, while she was looking at him, I was looking at her. Her eyes were almost unblinking, and she was commenting at every little thing he did and said. EVERY LITTLE THING! If I was him I would have been annoyed already.

I mentioned it later once three had become four. And she went all...

EF: What? Did I look like I was flirting?
Me: Yes. You totally were.
EF to BH: Do you think I was fliritng?
BH: Huh? Flirting? who?
Me: Well, of course, you being a guy wouldn't notice that.
BH: Notice what?
Me: Exactly.

Sighs. She asked me about it later about why I thought she was flirting. I only told her what I saw. Or at least what I thought I saw but to me that was what it looked like: she was flirting with him plain and simple. It may be true, it may not, she may deny it, she may agree to it; it's up to her. To me it was that. And I was just stating my honest observation.

Yes I know, I am not a nice person. Yes I do admit to being mean, but I'll be meaner if I wasn't honest and put up with annoying people. Which is probably why I do not get along with 'nice' people. Or are they? I seriously do not know how other people define niceness. Although I will still label people as nice or not nice or bitch, and my definition may be askewed, but so far it has worked well for me because it has been useful in helping me adjust accordingly to them.

Aloofness is a virtue.

Little Big Happy Family indeed.

Ta'ra!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Milk

Say what you will about milk, but one thing remains the same: It is the BEST source of protein for the human body. You can argue that there are soy and egg and fish, but what is the first thing they feed you when you were born? That's right, milk. Enough said. Unless you're alergic to milk, please source your protein elsewhere.

Anyway, when I was in kindergarten up till primary 2 or so, my dad would ensure that we drink milk after every swimming lesson; which was everyday. Even if we were eating out after swimming, he would stare us down until we order something containing milk. Yes, my dad was that strict. I'm sure there were other parents even stricter than ours, but please don't tell me about it. (Which is why I find ADHD crap. Drugs to treat insolent behavior in children? Pfft! You stupid ang moh! There is already a very affective cure for insolent children here; a cane.)

When I was 9 I broke my wrist and stopped swimming so my milk streak ended too. After that I still like milk, but I don't drink it regularly. This is because anything milky in the morning upsets my stomach, and we only had the cold ready-to-drink milk available because my mom no longer buys the milk powder for us adults. Cold drink early in the morning? No thank you! :x

I read somewhere (everywhere) that when you're in you're 20s your body is still gathering bone mass thus needed to store up on calcium. At 30 your body stops gathering bone mass and starts using it. So it is essential to get as much calcium as possible to ensure you have a strong body as you grow older. I started exercising after I finished high school and drank milk everyday; the low fat kind. To make sure I had two glasses worth a day I had it with cereal. So cereal became my breakfast. After that one year dedicated to fitness it became a habit to drink milk everyday. Besides, it is quite filling which makes for a good and quick breakfast.

Before, I would go out and buy the milk on my way to work/class so if I don't have work/class I don't drink milk. I don't keep them around at home due to the short shelf life. I only keep a small bottle of full cream milk to drink with tea and even that often gets thrown out halfway. So now I made it a mission to drink at least 2 glasses of milk a day. A regular glass I take it. How many mililiters I have no idea. So the other day I went to the supermarket and saw powder milk! Thus my dilemma began.

So this Dutch Lady milk powder has 3 flavours: full cream, honey and plain. Full cream is out because it has too much unnecessary fat, and my stomach could no longer handle it. Honey is good not just because it tastes good. Drinking hot milk with honey before bed helps in flattening your abs if you're into that. And it did work, mind you. So I was left between honey and plain. For every 230ml, which was one serving, plain has 147 calories while honey has 149. It was only 2 calories, but I took the plain one, in case I get bored of the honey taste. I can always add honey if I want to.

Now, when I bought the milk powder, I have one and a half carton of low fat milk in the fridge. I went to check the calorie content; for every 250ml, it has only 120 calorie. Calorie-wise, the plain milk powder has 27 more calories than the low fat milk. It looks like an obvious choice to just stick with low fat milk than to change to milk powder and took on the extra 27 calories. But I didn't change. I simply varied them.

Eventhough the milk powder has 147 calories, it contains pure milk. The lowfat milk on the other hand, contains flavoring to make up for the loss of taste due to its fat being trimmed away. Now, I am not against flavoring, but I do agree that less flavoring is better, being artificial and such. I used to put the milk into the microwave to heat them when I want it hot, but it's so complicated. So with milk powder I just add hot water and sugar and have myself hot milk just like the old days! xD

So. Milk, or milk powder? I say both. Why limit yourself? After all, my fitness goal is to be fit and stronger and healthier. I will eat healthier but it doesn't mean I will eat only healthy things xD. Life and food needs to enjoyed. In moderation. As you become fitter, the weight would go away on its own.

Now, I need to shower and study at least one chapter for the test this Saturday. Tonight I will go to Kino with sensei and Totchi to check out the new JLPT books. I am determined! xD and besides, sensei has those vouchers he got for teacher's day. He needs to go shopping now!

Ta'ra!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Now You've Done It!

Another ranting post. And she totally deserved it.

My cousin was so mean! Here I was, trying to drop by for her wedding, trying my best to work around my crazy schedule, and this is what I got! Observe:

I called [cousin A] yesterday just to ask what's up, and she said she's at [Aunt B]'s house with her mom. [Aunt B]'s daughter is getting married end of the year so I thought I'd confirm the date again, and assured them that my ticket has been booked months ago. So [cousin A] handed the phone to [cousin B] instead.

Me: Hey, when is your wedding again?
[cousin B]: It's at the end of the year, around early December. Are you coming?
Me: Yeah, my ticket is booked, but I need the precise date. (my planner was in front of me)
[cousin B]: It's really early December. 4th? 5th?
Me: 4th is Saturday, 5th is Sunday. It's the first week of December.
[cousin B]: Yeah, yeah, 4th and 5th, you're coming, right? I'll see you then!
Me: Wait! I think I have an exam on the 5th and I really can't go -
[cousin B]: Then ask for an exemption.
Me: I can't! This exam is held only once a year and if I miss it I have to wait until next year!
[cousin B]: Oh, why can't you just ask for an exemption then?
Me: (I already SAID!!!) It's held only once a year, and it's international, not -
[cousin B]: Just say you have something up, I'm sure they will let you. bla bla bla.
Me: sighs. It's decided. I can't go on the 5th. What's going on on the 4th then?
[cousin B]: The akad nikah (ceremony) will be on the 4th, and the reception on the 5th at a hotel.
Me: Oohh? What hotel?
[cousin B]: It's a hotel in Miri! Like you would know!
Me: (Isn't it obvious that I'm offended by the previous remark? I'm not from Miri, but was that necessary!?) ...okay, what time? At night?
[cousin B]: In the morning of course!
Me: And on the 4th?
[cousin B]: In the afternoon.
Me: Okay I can't go. So do you want me to come later or earlier?
[cousin B]: (after much back and forth) come earlier. The families would have gathered by then, even [Aunty C] comes on the 28th! (she and [Aunty C]'s family are close)
Me: Okay I'll come earlier then. So is [cousin C] going to be your flower girl?
[cousin B]: What? Flower girl!? You're too big to be a flower girl! The dais would collapse if you were my flower girl!
Me:(Offended beyond remorse)...I meant [cousin C], not me.
[cousin B]: Oh her, no, she's not a flower girl. It's not what we'd call it.
Me: Then a bridesmaid?
[cousin B]: Yeah a bridesmaid. Not a flower girl.
Me: Oh she's always wanted to be a flower girl. Everyone she's waited to be a flower girl of hasnt gotten married yet. So is she going to have a special outfit?
[cousin B]: Well that's something she will talk to her mother about. I'm sure they'll come up with something. (isnt the bride normally provides the bridesmaid clothes?)
Me: I bet they'll come up with something.
[cousin B]: So, don't forget my wedding present! You're earning now, right? I want a present.
Me: (surprised?) What do you want?
[cousin B]: Huh? What do I want?
Me: As your wedding gift. Anything I can get you? And it's not going to be my money. It's daddy's money.
[cousin B]: You're working aren't you?
Me: Yeah, and so is daddy and he makes more money than me. So what do you want?
[cousin B]: Well I don't know yet. I'll see what I need. See ya later. Bye bye. *clicks off*

Oh yes, I know exactly what to get for your wedding; a crate of cheese spray so your ass would balloon after the wedding and BREAK YOUR WEDDING BED! THAT'S IT! I'M NOT GOING TO YOUR WEDDING! YOU'RE A WASTE OF MY TIME!

p/s BITCH

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Resolution in Motion

Hello. Man, I really need to insert some life into this blog. I've started exercising again since the past 2 weeks or so. It all re-started after an impulse buy of the latest SHAPE magazine. The one with Kristy Curtis on the front cover. All nice and orangey xD. What I like about SHAPE is that the magazine is all about health and fitness without being hardcore. It treats every publication as if it's everyone's first step into fitness, thus provides small and easy stuff to follow and not in-your-face.

So I bought the magazine and thought, "hey, this is easy. I could do this." So I decided that I will exercise again without being hardcore and for no other reason than I want to be fit, and stronger (and look better? xD). After all, my job is physically demanding (big sister notwithstanding. I fear for her future husband. She is insatiable :P).

I decided to take it slowly. I ran on the treadmill and see how much I could handle, and after that I went back and lifted weights. I will not push myself because I HAVE to exercise. I WANT to exercise, and if I don't feel like it, I'll tell myself to just stay home, warm up for 5 minutes, and lift weights. But of course I always ended up doing more than I planned. Which is really the goal hehe.

In addition to exercise I also changed my diet. Lately I've been eating to survive more than anything. But I've had unpleasant experiences with eating 'healthy', because most of the time they don't taste good. This time around I will choose healthier options, but if they don't taste good I'll not eat it. Whole grain bread sandwich is good, and so is cereal with milk. Milk provides protein and calcium, and apparently it's important for women in their 20s since the body is still building bone mass, and needs a lot of calcium. I'm still exploring what other tasty things I could eat hehehehe.

Well I'm off to school to harrass my supervisor. Ta'ra!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

It's Not So Bad

My recent posts must have made it sound like my life is depressing. But on the contrary, I left the junk in my head on this blog and walk away a happier person. Just now I called up Borders to ask about the latest Yaoi that they most probably will have. They picked up on the third try. Well, considering it's Sunday, I was lucky to be picked up at all. If it was Kinokuniya....I would gladly ignore the call in favor of the walk-in customers crowding the counter. This time I knew better than to give them the title. I just gave her the ISBN number. I had several bouts of frustration during those long days of calling in about Junjo Romantica 10. They always misspelled.

Anyway, they don't have the manga yet, and if I'm not mistaken, it hasn't even been ordered yet. But the girl said call-in reservation was accepted, so I'm happy either way hehehe.The manga is out; that's all that matters. Too bad kino doesn't order yaoi anymore.

But anyway, the first Japanese essay I did was very elementary school level. It was a jikoshoukai. Very simple. But I think I went overboard in telling about my hopes and dreams, and being told my English was too good by my superior as my primary motivation to improve my Japanese now. But I wrapped it up by 'subtly' inviting the sensei over to Kinokuniya. The sensei underlined the last sentence and put a big smiley right next to it! Hahaha

I was admittedly bitter and sad and very determined when I wrote that essay, and I supposed the feelings came through. Since then, sensei has been giving me specific instructions whenever we're doing 'trivial' class activities. If it was just a simple dialogue session, he'd tell me to write it down, and went out of his way (by using English, which is really not allowed hehehe) to explain stuff to me. No offense to my previous sensei, but she intimidated me a bit. This latest sensei reminded me a lot of Ooshiro Sensei who is no longer Ooshiro since she got married. But let's just call her Ooshiro.

Even BAUC and people I'm friendly with at work patted my back (figuratively) and told me to go for it after I told them about my plan. I was surprised, really, because they knew it would be hard, since everything is done differently; from ordering to display to customer demographics. And somehow they thought I could do it. I am daunted by the prospects, but nevertheless excited by it; all those stuff I could learn!

It's silly how happy I get from their subtle encouagement. Thank you. xD

I will do my best!

Time for work! Whee

Ta'ra!

p/s How are you by the way, Klops?

Lynn: Indeed she is shallow, and I have decided to not take her words to heart. Dumbing myself down for the sake of dumb people? How dumb can you get!?

Rahim: That sounds so mafan.